Progress

Ok so I know that it has been a really long time since I have blogged so I guess there is alot of catching up to do. There has been progress in my life. As of late there has not been any plateau. Only upward travel. Lately though the travel has been hilly, rolling hills in fact. I have moved to hermiston oregon, the desert. It is funny how sometimes God brings you to the desert to take you out of the desert.

the things that I am learning living outisde of my comfort zone

1. I never knew that I was in a comfort zone until I left it.



2. Sometimes God takes us somewhere new so that he can build our relationship with him.

I am realizing that I am alone here a lot of the time. The kids are off playing, the house work is pretty easy here. Jon's too busy with his new job to call as often. My friends are all so far away from here. The best time in the day is my time with my one true friend who has always been there, and will never leave.



3. When you do not have much money left from moving, you have to be very creative with your cooking. I have learned more about making some thing out of nothing lately. It is amazing what you can do with bisquick.



4. I was really comfortable with my set of friends. God has brought new people in my life that I would never be friends with, and it turns out they are nice to be around.



I am uncomfortable right now, I really have to admit it. I do not know exactly why, I just know that I am. I guess the most uncomfortable place is coming face to face with me. There is nothing to distract me. No paintings to be done, the laundry seems to stay complete

We are really pilgrims here. We wander through life touching others and being touched. We are really changed by each person we spend time with. Some affect us some what negatively. Others for the positive. Some adventures last longer than you ever expected them to, and some shorter than you would hope. As I was writing in my journal this morning I was really seeing my life kind of flash before my eyes. What a strange sensation. Things have changed over the last 8 months. Wow, time flies, but that is neither here nor there.

In November we moved out here to the "country" from our little 70's track home. Coming here started me out in some depression. I was used to that little house. It was too small for us now but it was home. God had other plans. He was moving me away from settled and comfort, into transition. I think sometimes He has to move us around a little in order to get our minds in a place where we are ready for the next step. We just left that little house without saying goodbye. It was like a moments decision. We left my neighbor who really was it turns out my companion for those years. Our babies grew together

thinking they were going to get married some day. When I came back to say goodbye we all cried together. Now they are leaving. Moving far away to North Carolina. I am sad and crying thinking about it. They have been there taking a walk on this journey with us over the past 5 years. The past 5 years for me included really trying to forget the 8 years before that.

In November the Lord said OK enough is enough. And the last 8 months have been about remembering. I spent 5 years (luckily not 40) wondering and walking in the wilderness. Whining, making Cows, begging for meat, fearful of giants...And I finally made it here. A place flowing with milk and honey. A place where forgiveness dwells. I know that the Lord allows us to wander in the wilderness for a reason. It is part of the journey.

Here is the tough part for me. The promised land, it dwells inside of me. The promised land is Jesus. So you know what that means? It means that where ever we go he goes with us. What does that equate too. We go. Darn. But Lord I really like it hear, I made new friends. And it has only been a very short time........."Take up your cross and follow me."

disengaged

As I cleaned out my daughters room today I realised how totally disengaged I have been. I have been checked out for a long time. How sad and embarrassing that is. It is amazing, as passion leaves our lives we become so distracted by fear and lies. I am so blessed by the Lord, as he cleans out my closets. They are full of abundant little messes that I have hid away. “

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

“No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.”

“Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he could only do a little”

Edmund Burke quotes